Jalepeno Crunch Burger

Jalapeno Crunch Burger

Makes about 4 burgers
Ingredients:

The Hamburger:

• 1 lb lean ground beef
• Hamburger seasoning:
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

The Jalepeño Crunches:

• 2 jalepeños, cut into 1" strips
• 1 egg
• 1 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup cooking oil (vegetable, peanut, or canola are best for this)

Directions:

The Burger:

1. Divide your beef into quarters, roll into a ball. Place your beef balls on a sheet of wax paper. Place another sheet of wax paper over the top of the beef. Flatten by pushing a baking sheet down evenly on the patties. Remove wax paper. Season both sides of your patties with your seasoning mix.
2. If you like your burgers medium-done, grill your patties for about 2-3 minutes on each side. Obviously, you can adjust the time depending on your liking. Let the patties rest for 30 seconds before serving.

The Jalepeño Crunches:

1. Beat your egg in a bowl and take the jalepeños for a swim.
2. Mix your flour and salt together.
3. After the jalepeños are fully egg-coated, dip them in the flour for a few seconds.
4. When the oil is to a nice temperature (325° or when a toothpick bubbles when inserted), place your jalepeños in. Let them fry for about 2 minutes, or until golden brown.
5. Remove your jalepeños from the oil, and let drain on a paper towel for a minute or so. Serve on your burger and enjoy!
6. Optional Method: I noticed that the aforementioned (fancy for what-you-just-read-idiot) method, though crispy, tends to reduce the jalepeño flavor and heat. If you want to retain that flavor and heat, just skip the egg-wash, dip them directly into the flour mixture and fry. This will give your jalepeños a more genuine flavor.

Hearty Chili

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 large clove garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 lbs ground beef
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• Chili seasoning
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon chipotle pepper powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion salt
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 whole onion, chopped
• 2 bell peppers, chopped (I recommend at least one of them being red - it's sweeter and adds a nice touch)
• 2 jalepeños, chopped (and seeded of course)
• 1 (28 oz) can chopped tomatoes 
• 2 medium sized fresh tomatoes, chopped
• 1 (15 oz) can of black beans, drained
• 1 (15 oz) can of pinto beans, drained
• 1 (15 oz) can of kidney beans, drained
• 1 (15 oz) can of creamed corn (or 2, 8 oz cans)
• 1 (6 oz) can tomato paste (if you like thicker chili like me)

Directions:

1. Heat up your olive oil in a large pot on medium heat. Sauté your garlic for 1-2 minutes. Don't burn it! 
2. Salt and pepper your ground beef and add it to the pot. Break it apart as you stir. As it's browning, add your chili seasoning mix and stir.
3. The next part is super easy. Add the rest of the ingredients, and stir. That's it. See, told you so. (Sarah hates it when I say that) Cook on medium-low heat for at least one hour, stirring occasionally.

Halloween Meatloaf

Ingredients:

Meatloaf:

• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1 1/2 lbs of ground beef
• 1 small onion... remove enough of an outer layer to shape your fingernails, remove about a 2 inch diameter section of the wrist bone -- I mean onion core, and chop the rest.
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 3/4 cup dried bread crumbs
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon sage
• 1/4 teaspoon thyme
• 4-8 oz of mozzarella cheese, sliced (forget measurements... enough slices to cover both your hands)

Glaze:

• 1/3 cup ketchup
• 2 tablespoons mustard
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1/2 tablespoon hot sauce of your choice

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350°.
2. This is super easy. Beat your two eggs, then simply add the rest of the ingredients (minus the mozzarella, fingernail onions, and wrist bone) for the meatloaf. Now, be careful! If you get out your electric mixer and beat it all to death, your meatloaf will have an awful consistency, trust me. Mixing by hand is by far the most fun, and it just so happens it turns out best anyway.
3. Now, if you go and form it into a hand with separated fingers right now, you will end up with a not-so-done meat palm, and burnt meat fingers. *Zach smiles at that gruesomeness of it all*  So, what you want to do is form a block in the general shape of a hand and make indentations where the spaces between fingers would be. This will help the hand cook relatively evenly. Place your fingernail onions... well, where fingernails go, and your wrist bone (onion center) where it goes. I found it's easier to cut out a space for the wrist bone rather than just shoving it in there. Place your creation in the oven.
4. While that's cooking, mix the glaze ingredients together. After the meatloaf hand has cooked for 10 minutes, coat your hand with a layer of the glaze. Return to the oven for another 10 minutes.
5. Note: If you are using 1 giant hand, the cooking time may be longer than my forthcoming instructions. If you are concerned about doneness, ensure that the inside is at least 155° before eating. Okay, moving on. Take the meat hand out again and place your slices of cheese only on the defined hand area. You might have to get creative with your mozzarella slices to get the right shapes. Return to the oven for 10 minutes. After that, broil for 5 minutes or until the cheese/skin *gross* is browned and bubbly looking.
6. Now that your edible hand is cooked, cut out the meat between fingers and shape to your liking.

Ginger Beef Stir-Fry

Ingredients:
(makes about 4 servings)

• 7-8 brussel sprouts (optional)
• 3 tablespoons oil
• 4 inch ginger root, peeled and cut into matchsticks 
• 1 lb beef strips
• 6-8 green onions cut into thin strips (white half of the onion)
• 3 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 small bunch (4-5 leaves) of basil (I cut mine into strips)
• Optional - 4 servings of cooked rice or udon noodles to serve with

Directions:

1. Steam your brussel sprouts (or boil or microwave or whatever the heck you want to do with 'em) just until slightly tender, shocked in cool water, and set aside.
2. Heat the oil in a wok or large skillet. Sauté the ginger for about 1 minute on medium heat. 
3. Season your beef (always season your beef before cooking!) and add to the pan.
4. When the beef begins to brown, add your brussel sprouts, green onions, soy sauce, and sugar. Stir-fry for about 1-2 minutes. Remove from heat.
5. Toss your stir-fry with the basil and serve over/with noodles or rice. That's it!

Sloppy Joes Family Favorite

Ingredients: 

• 2 lbs. ground beef
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1-1/4 cups ketchup
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 Tbsp. brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp. white vinegar
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. ground mustard
• 1/2 tsp. chili powder
• 1/4 tsp. ground allspice
• 8 hamburger buns

Directions:

1. In a large frying pan, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain fat.
2. Stir in the ketchup, water, brown sugar, vinegar, salt, mustard, chili powder, and allspice; bring to a boil.
3. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered until thickened and heated through.
4. Spoon about 1/2 cup meat mixture onto each bun.
5. Makes 8 servings.

Beef Strips with Orange Dijon Dipping Sauce

Ingredients:

Beef Strips: 

• 1 lb of beef steak (whatever variety you want)
• 1 cup of flour (with salt and pepper added to taste)
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 2 cups panko breadcrumbs
• vegetable oil

Orange Dipping Sauce:

• 1/2 cup orange marmalade
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 tsp. fresh ginger, minced

Directions:

1.  Make sure to pound this beef down until it is super thin, just like that recipe, and cut into strips against the grain. {This whole process makes the strips much more tender.}
2. Completely coat each beef strip with flour, bathe in the egg, and then dip into the panko breadcrumbs. Set aside.
3. Heat up enough vegetable oil to create about 1/2 inch pool in the bottom of your pan. Grandma Paula gives a fantastic tip here: the oil is the right temperature when a panko crumb sizzles in the oil and doesn't burn too quickly.
4. As the oil heats up, turn your attention to the dipping sauce. Whisk the sauce ingredients together in a small saucepan, and bring to a boil. Once at a boil, turn off the heat.
5. Place each beef strip into the oil and let it cook for less than a minute on each side. That's all that is needed, promise. It will be tender, delicious, and most importantly - cooked.

Anaheim Blue Cheese Burgers

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground beef
• 1 egg white (not calorie conscious? Just use the whole egg)
• 1/2 cup blue cheese crumbles
• 2 tablespoons light mayo
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper (I hate the "pinch," just use however much you like)
• 3 anaheim peppers, cut into thick strips (poblanos would probably work too)
• Other hamburger ingredients of your choice... whatever the heck you like on your burger
• Zach's Super Secret Special Awesome seasoning that he could probably get rich off of, but instead is revealing to you:
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

Directions:

1. Cut the anaheim peppers along their sharper edge. In other words, try to get a flat piece. Sprinkle salt and pepper to your liking on the peppers. Grill 'em! Get a good char on the skin side.
2. While the peppers are grilling, mix the egg white into your ground beef. Divide the beef into fourths and form your patties. Add a liberal amount of the Super Secret Special Awesome seasoning to ONE side of your patties. (The first time I did this, I put seasoning on both sides and it was pretty strong.)
3. Grill 'em (seasoning side up). It's super easy to overcook it! Just get a nice high-temp cook on one side, flip it over for another 1-2 minutes on the other side and you're good.  Don't give in to the temptation to keep cooking! If you do, you will regret the dry burger that results. NOTE: If you use extra lean ground beef, cook the patties in a frying pan with a lid, not the grill.  This helps keep what little fat (taste) you have in the beef and creates juicy, delicous patties - even if it's extra-lean beef. Trust me, it turns out just as good as the fatty stuff, I promise.
4. Mix the mayo, cayenne pepper and blue cheese crumbles together and apply a small spoonful to each bun.
5. By this time, your peppers should be done.  Peel the skin off of the charred side (sucks when that crap gets in your teeth), discard skin, and add the naked *gasp* peppers to your bun.
6. Assemble your burger, adding any other ingredient(s) you like, and enjoy!